Do we really need the noise?

I'm going to begin this post with a chapter out of mythology - I'll call it that though quite a few believe that everything in the Mahabharat really happened. 

Everyone knows - or maybe most of us know that Kunti, the mother of the five pandavas and Karna, had a blessing from Sage Durvasa, because of which she was able to call any of the devatas on earth. Most of us believe that this was because Kunti served the sage really well during his visit. However, from what I have read, it actually began with the welcome of the sage.

The moment Kuntibhoj (Kunti's father, the king) came to know that Sage Durvasa was visiting the kingdom, panic set in. Durvasa was known for his quick temper and one mistake was enough to get a curse. Kuntibhoj busied his people in the preparations for welcoming the sage. He was planning a massive party of dhol, nagara, aarti etc. Kunti, on the other hand, had a different idea. She asked him not to engage the noisy musical instruments. Instead, she recommended, create an atmosphere which would make one feel calm, peaceful, rested. The idea was accepted, and Durvasa set his foot into the kingdom which was decorated with beautiful flowers. The roads were scented and there was a slow, soft dhun of the omkar being sung in beautiful voices. It took away the tiredness of his travel. The ire, for which he was known so much, simply dissolved.

Coming back to reality, lets come out of the noisy Ganesh Aarti for the moment. Close our eyes and imagine ourselves surrounded by grass and flowers, sweet fragrances, peace, quiet. Now tell me, do we really need the noise to enjoy the festivities of the mind?

Of moms and daughters in law

This is what runs in your mind when you read one too many blog posts about mom / daughter in law relations and also keep reading about 'leaning in'. The whole idea of 'lean in' is bent on women supporting women and both getting ahead, rather than women competing with women, especially for getting share of a man's mind.

If, for one day, all moms, daughters and sisters in law decided to support and stand by each other, it might even turn into a maternal dominated society overnight. Why do the wife and mother have to compete for getting attention from the husband / son? On a different note, if a man's wife and mother spoke the same language, he would be very happy. In fact, he would hardly have an option other than to comply. This may however, be difficult for a generation of ma in laws which has seen a different environment since their childhood and has been conditioned to treat their daughters in law in the same manner that their ma in laws treated them.

If the change were to start by the current generation who has a son, and if this whole generation of mothers in law, daughters in law and sisters in law collaborated instead of competing, we may be headed for a society where the crimes against women would go down significantly. And this doesn't need much, except for the will to do it.

And what are the cons? Some TV serials may not remain relevant anymore, but that's not much to give, is it? I'm actually reminded of a past TV serial called 'tu-tu, main-main', showing a different kind of MIL - DIL relationship. It showed the two having constant differences of opinion among themselves, but fiercely defending each other against anyone else. That's probably where the ideal ground lies.

A post about love (!!!)

Now, I am not THAT kind of blogger / writer. I would usually refrain from blogging or writing about love or motherly emotions or any kind of f e e l i n g s. It reminds me of a scene from Everybody Loves Raymond, which, to my mind, was more of a reality show than some reality shows. In that scene, as the newly married couple Robert and Amy indulge in PDA, their seniors Ray and Debra look at each other with Debra finally saying "Remember when we were that stupid?"

But that doesn't mean I haven't had those feelings....hell, yeah I have. The wonderful thing about love is that it is capable of dominating bloody well all other feelings. I have experienced love to completely overcome fear. It can make you forget that this would be a situation in which normal people (read, those who have grown out of love) may experience fear.

In many cases involving love, one can feel one's resilience rise to an incredible level. The extent to which your mind can process things or events without reacting increases dramatically. I have seen love bring assertiveness out of an otherwise introvert person, and establishing stability over an otherwise impulsive one. 

If this capability of love, to change the innate nature of a person and to overpower other emotions were to be used in an advantageous manner, there can be tremendous achievements. But fortunately or unfortunately, where love is involved, there aren't any considerations of advantage / disadvantage. It is therefore left to destiny to bring out the best out of love. So here's wishing luck to be added to the power of love.....

The 'Sun-lighter' side of life.....

"How are you settling down?" has been on the top of the list of FAQs for me in the last few months, an obvious one for someone who has shifted residence across continents. It's not yet been six months, but here are some things that struck.....

You can see the sun in here and actually feel its heat. But the heatwave can also strike with a vengeance as if saying 'Coming from the land of rain, huh?.......now take this.....'. For at least a month since we landed, my nearly six year old limited her world to the AC room with a working remote.

Practically any grocery item needed can be found out of the society gate. But the heat makes you unwilling to walk to get grocery anyway.

Point to point distance can be reached with a means cheaper than a taxi. But sometimes, you are thankful you were able to get down in one piece from that 'means'.

Envelopes, glue stick, all available at your doorstep. But postal stamps can be secured only from the post office and must be posted in the boxes outside the post office. No post boxes can be found at a walking distance and if you do find one, you're told the post is going to stay inside the box forever.

You could travel in a local train past four stations for INR10 (EUR0.14) V/s EUR5. But god save you if you don't know which side you need to alight from.

You now have someone do your dishes for you. But promotions and bonus, all expected within a month, since its Diwali!

You now know who lives next door....but the twin kids next door can ring the doorbell (and at least thrice) anytime and hop in to disturb your kid's study.

Relatives / friends are now a local phone call away, but welcome to the land of no response to professional e-mails.

The language is of course, 'aapni', but the general mind set might sometimes feel like the square peg in the round hole, whose edges are being "filed" to suit the requirements of the hole.

Contradictions aside, it probably is the destiny of the ice to melt in its own water (Swades of course) and to be "unmade" in India!