Thursday, 14 February 2013

Being be-littled.

You don't get an off on Valentine's day. There's no point asking for an off, since it's busy season for hubby anyway. So you come to office, and like all moms working outside their homes, your mind wanders off (yet again) to the strongest link between you and your partner. When they are with you, you have an abnormal craving for some "lone" time. When they are not with you, the cherubic photo on your desk takes your mommy mind back to them.

So as a part of the lunchtime blogging for today, here are ten rules to being "be-littled" ( in similar sense as be-witched maybe??).

1. Bow : You must get down to the size of the "towering" three foot personality in front of you, if you want to reason with them. Being high headed is not acceptable in negotiations.

2. Mind your ears: Train your ears to hear 'What's this?' as a song. In fact, it will most often be uttered twice at the same time, and in a rhythm.

3. Mind your memory: Send your grown up memory for a brisk walk, to return after 3-4 minutes. You must forget where they were hidden a moment before and look desperately for them, at the same time saying "Oh, where's my little girl gone? Mommy cannot find her..........." Repeat this four times, ending with finding them at the same place all five times.

4. Choice: Please note that a "pretty dress" can be requested to be tried at any time, including bed time. Pyjamas don't fit the definition of "pretty dress".

5. Still life?: All objects listen. They must be waved goodbye to.

6.Language: All "Oops!" must be replaced with "Upsy Daisy!".

7. Break? What Break?: Settling down too obviously with a book is prohibited. If you do so, you deserve a summons like "Let's have a picnic." or "Lets play the ABCD."

8. Higher authority: Any raising of voice is likely to be immediately appealed to a higher court. "Daddy's comin" will be the standard wordings of the notice.

9. Never say no: Please remember that any direct refusals to comply are likely to be met with 'bawling'. Bawling is not crying. Crying is shedding tears when you are sad. Bawling is designed to make mommy and daddy feel like crying. Please do not refuse. Re-direct instead.

10. Pardon: Any requests for pardon must be accompanied with the fees of a hug. Incomplete requests are likely to be ignored.

Mommies, more rules in your rule books? Please bring them out. :)

1 comment:

  1. I am sold on the very first paragraph..when with them we crave to be without and when without, well there is no without them for us, is there?